Setting Boundaries With Your Co-Parent Is Important, Even If The Court Does Not Order You To Engage In Parallel Parenting

One of the most important lessons you must learn as a parent is that you cannot control everything.  For example, you might struggle with the fact that your teen does not share your views on religion, politics, or social etiquette, but you will eventually have to accept that what your son or daughter believes, says, or does is ultimately your child’s decision, not yours.  Some people see their spouses obsess over their children’s diet and toilet habits and have a sinking feeling that the spouse is being too controlling and the child will not tolerate it forever.  Even if you were easygoing during your marriage and naturally let the small stuff go, you will probably struggle with the fact that, if you get divorced, it is impossible for you to control your children’s every move when they are with your ex.  The courts implement parallel parenting for couples who cannot interact with each other without conflict.  Even if your relationship with your ex is not so volatile that every conversation devolves into a shouting match, less is more when it comes to co-parenting.  For help drafting a parenting plan that will make it easier for you to keep the peace with your ex-spouse and your children, contact a Birmingham child custody lawyer.

Accepting That You Can’t Control Your Ex Is the Key to Peaceful Co-Parenting

Parallel parenting is when divorced parents have minimal contact with each other.  One parent drives to the other’s house and waits in the car as the children walk to the door.  The parents do not talk to each other in person or on the phone.  Instead, they exchange text messages or communicate through a co-parenting messaging app such as Our Family Wizard; the courts sometimes order this in high conflict divorces.

If your divorce is not so acrimonious that the judge has done the next best thing to issuing a restraining order, you should be grateful.  You should also use your judgment and not make things worse.  When it is your ex-spouse’s parenting time, mind your own business.  Do not call your ex and argue if your children tell you that they ate sugary cereal for breakfast at your ex’s house.  Do not try to change plans at the last minute, and if your ex tries to do this, point to the parenting plan and refuse to budge.  Remember that what happens during your parenting time is not your ex’s business, either.  Convince yourself that you are parallel parenting, even if you are not, for the sake of your self-control and your sanity.

Contact Peeples Law About Not Letting Co-Parenting Drive You Crazy

Co-parenting with your former spouse is never easy, but you have the power not to make it harder than it needs to be.  A Birmingham family law attorney can help you approach co-parenting with a healthy, long-term mindset and draft your parenting plan accordingly.  Contact Peeples Law today to schedule a consultation.

Source:

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