Things To Know About Co-Parenting After A Divorce

The adjustment from being married parents to being unmarried co-parents can certainly be a jarring one. There is a whole new world of boundaries, rules, expectations, and support that has to be navigated, almost all of which is likely to work against what feels natural or intuitive. There is a learning curve while adapting to new court-ordered visitation schedules and it can be a highly emotional time. The more patient you can be with yourself and your former spouse while you work to understand this new territory, the easier of an adjustment it will be. Of course, asking for patience during a divorce is like being asked for a loan while you’re broke. Ultimately, you can only do your best. Hopefully, debunking some of the myths and misunderstandings associated with co-parenting can help to alleviate some of the pressure people feel to be perfect when it comes to co-parenting.

Debunking Myths and Misunderstandings About Co-Parenting

• You and Your Co-Parent Don’t Need to Agree on Everything. Of course, everything moves along more smoothly when decisions are arrived at mutually, however, not all decisions can be mutually and amicably resolved. The need to agree on everything completely can become a barrier to moving forward at all. For this reason, learn to embrace that not everything will be agreeable. There may be times where resolution isn’t possible or where you need to rely on a neutral third-party to meditate.
• You Don’t Have to be Perfect. When you begin your co-parenting journey, you may feel a lot of pressure to perform as well as two perfect parents to make sure your child isn’t missing out. However, no parents are perfect, and the best version of you is the best gift you can give to your child. Try not to compare yourself to others (even to your co-parent) and focus on fostering and nourishing your connection to your child when you can.
• What Happens at Your House Does Not Stay at Your House. Some co-parents mistakenly think that their children live in a bubble when they stay with them, and that what happens at their house stays at their house. Never expect your children to keep secrets from your ex-spouse and don’t do anything at home that you wouldn’t want their other parent to know about.
• Stability is Underrated. Parents often focus on ensuring that their children are provided for financially, but it’s important not to undervalue the importance of emotional stability. In times of transition, such as after a divorce, it’s critical for parents to maintain consistency in their love and emotional availability for their children. It can take practice, but try to focus on creating a space of stability, even when your instinct is to be reactive.

Talk to a Birmingham, Alabama Divorce Attorney

If you are considering divorce or have any questions about the process, the experienced Birmingham divorce attorneys at Peeples Law are ready to help. Contact Peeples Law today to schedule your consultation and find out how we can assist you in taking your next step forward in life.